Fucking REALLY!?!??

The following is a live chat session from this afternoon...Names have been changed to protect me from being sued.


Live Chat
Connected Status: Analyst Unhelpful Comcast Representative is here and your issue status is: working
Problem: Installer is not here...

user Annabelle_ has entered room

Annabelle(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:43:33 GMT-0600 (CST))>

analyst Unhelpful Comcast Representative has entered room


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:43:40 GMT-0600 (CST))>

Hello Annabelle_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Unhelpful Comcast Representative. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:43:55 GMT-0600 (CST))>
ok


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:43:57 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I am now checking your information. How are you doing today?


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:44:03 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I'm okay.
my installer was supposed to be here between 10am-1pm and they are not here yet. I meant to call but my reception isnt the best so i thought i would try this first


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:44:42 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I hope that means that you're doing great today.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:45:54 GMT-0600 (CST))>
would you be able to check on the status?


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:45:57 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I see.


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:45:58 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I apologize for this if this has been an inconvenience. Let me go ahead and start assisting you on this.
I would like to have your Comcast account number so that I could start assisting you with your request.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:46:39 GMT-0600 (CST))>
umm I dont think I have an account number, they didnt give me anything when i set up the instal time


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:48:06 GMT-0600 (CST))>
That's fine. I have the account information with me now.


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:48:07 GMT-0600 (CST))>
XXXXX is your account number, actually .


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:48:22 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Thank you
I did check my phone and and I didnt have any missed calls or voice mails


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:50:01 GMT-0600 (CST))>
That's fine.


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:50:08 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I'm checking on your appointment now.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:50:12 GMT-0600 (CST))>
ok


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:50:22 GMT-0600 (CST))>
The technician should be there by 4pm, Annabelle.


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:50:27 GMT-0600 (CST))>
What time is it there?


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:50:32 GMT-0600 (CST))>
By 4pm?!


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:50:44 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Wasnt my appointment set up from 10-1?


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:51:20 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I'm sorry , 1pm, I mean.


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:51:25 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Sorry about that, that was pure typo.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:52:00 GMT-0600 (CST))>
well it is 1:51pm now so they obviously wont be here by 1pm. Is there a way to contact the installer to see where I am on the list?


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:53:50 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Okay, sure.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:53:56 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Thank you.


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:54:12 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I will have to give you the local Comcast service station in your area.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:54:29 GMT-0600 (CST))>
ok


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:57:49 GMT-0600 (CST))>
What apartment are you , Annabelle?


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:57:53 GMT-0600 (CST))>
XXX


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:58:52 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Thank you.


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:00:36 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Are you ready ?


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:00:38 GMT-0600 (CST))>
yes


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:01:37 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Chicago - North Ave.
Address: Hours:
1255 W North Ave
Chicago, IL 60642
Phone: 866-594-1234 Mon, Wed, Fri 9am-6pm, Tue, Thu 8am-5pm, Sat 9am-1pm. Open til 1pm on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. Closed on Christmas Day and New Year's Day.

Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:02:04 GMT-0600 (CST))>
okay that says its only open until 1pm on new years eve


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:02:07 GMT-0600 (CST))>
which is today


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:03:08 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Right, Annabelle.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:03:36 GMT-0600 (CST))>
well calling them isnt going to do me much good...


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:04:23 GMT-0600 (CST))>
so basically, they should have been here over an hour ago and there is absolutely no one to contact to see where they are or if they are even going to show up?


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:04:30 GMT-0600 (CST))>
You can have these other numbers to verify the status of the appointment :


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:04:31 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Illinois - IL
Chicago and the Greater Chicago Region: 866-372-4215
Kankakee, Joliet, Aurora (Chicago Market): 866-372-4215
Rockford (Central Illinois): 888-736-6608
Rock Falls (Central Illinois): 888-736-6610
Champaign/Urbana (Central Illinois): 888-736-6612
Peoria (Central Illinois): 888-736-6689
Normal/Bloomington (Central Illinois): 888-736-6694
Macomb (Central Illinois): 888-736-6695
Quincy (Central Illinois): 888-736-6698
Springfield (Central Illinois): 888-736-6705


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:06:39 GMT-0600 (CST))>
okay see here is the thing. I first called the local number where i set up the appointment, who told me to call the 1-800-comcast number was the only way to check on the status, The 1-800 comcast number told me to do live chat for faster service, now you are saying the only way to check is my local office...and now you are saying a non-local general chicago office can help me?


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:06:50 GMT-0600 (CST))>
This is really highly frustrating


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:07:44 GMT-0600 (CST))>
especially considering I have taken the day off work to get this done and have other things that I could be doing than waiting for the instaler to show up and call a bunch of different people all of which give me a new number to call.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:12:05 GMT-0600 (CST))>
So can this Chicago/Greater Chicago number be able help me? (the 866-372-4215) Because quite frankly my patience is tapped. Or should I give up and wait and call on saturday.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:14:51 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Hello?


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:15:08 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Yes, I am still here.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:15:12 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Well can it help me or not?


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:15:29 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Gwendoly, I'm sorry but that's the only information I could give to you .


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:16:02 GMT-0600 (CST))>
We can't adjust the store's hours of operation .


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:18:06 GMT-0600 (CST))>
What are the hours of opperation for the chicago and greater chicago number?


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:19:04 GMT-0600 (CST))>
You can call the call center number for that, Annabelle.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:20:52 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Okay I can see I have exhausted the information available from you to share with me. Good day.

I want my life back

I'm still living in the outskirts of the suburbs. My commute is still awful and my parents still drive me crazy. Consider yourselves updated. I have found an apartment. Bless it I cant wait to move. I can move in a week from today. Happy day. I've been scouring ikea like no tomorrow planning how to arrange my new tiny space. Pictures are sure to follow in the future.

I hope its a promise

So on facebook I became a fan of not listening to nickleback.

kinda ex known as "trailer trash" sent this to me....

"why the hell would u join a hate group? Nickelback is probably better then alot of music you have in your ipod!!! Let me guess you hate slipknot, breaking benjamin, stone sour, and all the top rock bands out there right now as well

I should delete you from my friends list for joining a bunch of haters"

Ooooh I'm threatened.

I can't believe this is the last person I slept with.

Shame.

Smitten

What is my deal with inappropriate crushes? Upon sight I did one of those instant blushes and fell into obnoxious uncontrollable stupid smiling. Its bad. Said person is insanely smart, successful and they just have a good energy about them. (Pardon me for a moment while I go light some candles and burn some incense). It also probably doesn’t help the situation that she kinda looks like Amanda Palmer even though she doesn’t really. I’m hoping I get a hold of myself soon and I can fall into my normal pattern of jealousy apposed to googley admiration.

I'm Here!

I’m overtired. I’m broke. I made it.

After a generous helping of assistance from Rory and Alice I finished staging my house last weekend and it officially went on the market on Monday. I checked out the listing and it doesn’t look half bad. I probably should have painted over the bright purple because it looks a bit much in the house photos…actually all of the pictures are kinda “eh.” I should tell my realtor to put in the listing. House, much like its owner is not very photogenic. Still though if I must say myself it looks pretty kickass. I just hope people will come to see it. Also in checking out the comparables I do not think my pricing is out of line. So I guess now I just wait and see. Which I am more than happy to do since it doesn’t require me to drive anywhere to do it.

The job is okay so far. I’m in that odd first couple weeks where I a little bit have no idea what’s going on and it feels like I never will. Yesterday that already started to turn around. I got to train with some of the techs and had a couple meetings so I fill a smidge bit more up to speed.

Socially my life leaves much to be desired. Unless the young hipster lifestyle involves eating dinner with your parents watching only half the news and being in bed by 9:30pm. I did steal away Friday night to go to happy hour with Cobie, another high school friend and a half dozen or so other equally adorable techie types. This weekend I will probably hang out at home my grandmother is visiting. I think I may jet away to the city on Saturday night for a non-reunion high school reunion. Either that or I will spend the day catching up on sleep. Sleep is cheaper.

The last day

I'm happy.

I'm sitting on my deck, back against the window with a vodka glass filled with ice wine and a camel light spilling ash onto my macbook. Although it may be not the things movies are made of somehow its perfect.

Today is the last day in my house. The house that I though I would come back from my honeymoon to. The house that was supposed to hold my first sleepless child. The house that instead held none of those things. All the disappointment and all the heart ache are over.

Karma is finally paying out. With an amazing career in an amazing city. I'm starting anew. Maybe I don't have the perfect city apartment or European bowl adorning my dinning nook table but somehow thats just really ok.

I don't know whats going to happen in the future...sure as shit things haven't happened to plan so far. I know I'm up for an adventure and that is well...just fine with me.

Cobie I'm coming home!

See Ya....Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya'

I'm not good at goodbyes. I don't mean that in the way where I cry and blubber and have some earth shaking moment that cause me to reflect upon experiences too strong to put into words as I walk through the exit door.

Nope for me I run through the mental thought. I will most likely never again see this person in my life. I momentarily think this is kinda sad then I realize I don't really care. Then I have to feign being emotionally moved by a separation to a practical stranger. Its awkward, its forced and I will have to do it about 60 times tomorrow.

Suck.

The 10yr Reunion

All in all I'm glad I went to tool city a.k.a "The Alumni Club" for my HS reunion. The first hour was rather excruciating but the open bar and a keenness too Vodka-Cranberries aided in my ability to get over my flashback of super-shy-uber-nerd. Sure I spent the vast majority of the night hanging with my regular clan but I found a couple new-old friends that will surely come in handy whenever I get my little slice of the Chicago pie.

Today I went and did my pre-employment screening. All things are go except for my mysteriously MIA transcripts I ordered two weeks ago. Two schools will be receiving angry phone calls tomorrow. Unfortunately today was also picture day. Had I known this I would have done my hair and perhaps put more care into operation zit-coverage.

All in all it was a wonderful weekend. I actually got the chance to relax a little and enjoy the city. Kinda got the warm fuzzies as I thought...yes this is actually happening. This is what I want to do with my life, and I'm doing it. I've taking my years of wishing, dreaming, preparing and finally here it is. The whole thing is rather euphoric.

Now I just have to ditch this house. I've always been so attached to the place I live and leaving has always been bittersweet for me but quite frankly when I look back on my time in Rochester all I can recall is a really bad life stage. A broken engagement, a horrible depression, a pathetic lack of friends within my zip code. Its not like the years were all bad but all the happy memories I remember were in lacrosse, Appleton, Chicago or even Lincoln freakin Nebraska.

I feel like I've been trapped here for so long, and no matter financially what I loose I can recover. Whatever it is its work my sanity in the end. 12 days until the move!

Should be Sleeping

Moving countdown:  16 days!

My parents and Alice came up last weekend and we got lots of stuff done.  Pretty much everything is packed priced or thrown away.  With the exception of my clothes, a few dishes and toiletries.  I'm taking this weekend off to visit Chicago for my 10yr highschool reunion and my physical & pre-employment pee in a cup test.  I plan on passing with flying colors since I am boring and shockingly heathy for a fat girl.

The reunion might prove to be a bit more difficult.  I didn't really consider I would have to wear something and it seems like the type of event one should have a planned outfit for.  I'm thinking a big ratty turtlneck sweater and paint stained sweatpants.  Might go with story of the bff date and moving back in with my parents.  Also in today reunion panic I realized that I don't really remember many people from highschool.  I imagine it going like this...

Stranger:  Ann how are you?

Me:  Spoken in a painfully enthusiastic obviously overcompensating manner  How are you?!?!  Its been so long!  What are you up to?  (thinking I have no idea who this person is)

Stranger:  Oh you know...I'm the CEO of xyz this is my supermodel wife, here look at this picture of our twins they are staring in the next pampers commercial.

Me:  Oh they are so adorable.  (I hate kid pictures, I never know what to say...they are babies they all look the same to me and all I want to say is yeah I would have kids but I'm not willing to give up sleep for a tax deduction).

Stranger:  So what are you up to?

Me:  Well I work in MN, but I just got a new job in Chicago so I'm going to be relocating in a couple weeks.

Stranger:  (Insert any quote from Fargo here)

Me:  Fake Laugh

Stranger:  So have you found a place?

Me:  Ummm, no I can't afford to sell my house so I'm going to move in with my parents.

Stranger:  Oh  (Awkward pause, looks down, embarrassed for both of us)  So humm....Did you come with anyone?

Me:  Yeah my friend Alice came with me, I always drag her along anytime I need a date.

Stranger:  Oh I didn't know you were a lesbian.  Kinda explains why you were so quiet & weird in highschool.

Me:  Yeah no, shes just a friend.  I'm just so socially awkward that I only have the one.  Anyways nice catching up but if I have to continue this conversation or have a painfully similar one with anyone else tonight I better hit the bar so I don't end up slitting my wrists in the bathroom.  Good seeing you though!

Operation A little less fat update:

Moving is horrible for ones diet and exercise regimen.  In two weeks I've managed to gain back 3 lbs and quite frankly I'm surprised its not more since I've been feasting on every local specialty known to man.  Not to mention I'm trying to eat everything in my house (most of it is not good for me).  My lips have been descending on more fried foods than veggies lately.  But whatever.

Week 13

Moving is not good for operation a little less fat.  I gained 1.0lbs this week.  This is most likely due to my going out to eat for three delicious high calorie meals and a bunch of alcohol.  I also blame this pattern for my annoying cold.  Quite frankly I'm surprised it wasn't worse.

Weekend Wonders

So how come the moment you are moving your previously empty social calendar turns overbooked just when you have absolutely no time to do anything?

On Friday I went out for dinner and drinks so a little Mexican restaurant popular in my current stomping grounds then after wards we went to a friends house for more drinks where we played catch phrase into the wee hours of the morning.

Saturday I did a very miniscule amount of packing, made a bunch of phone calls and had way too many drinks while sitting around a fire eating steak and smores. It was cold and I was up until about 5:30am today I felt like I've been run over a truck carring a flu virus. My sinuses are conjested and I'm a bit afraid my swollen sore throat will close off at any moment.

Today I'm doing laundry, going to church and hopefully packing a couple boxes. I have to find out where to pocure more because lack of recepticles is proving to hinder my progress. Now I must get dressed (urgh) snort some nasal spray and try to look half way presentable.

Big News!

Project Annabelle is in full swing.  I'm moving.  Bye bye isolated tundra of Minnesota hello overpopulated city of Chicago.  Okay well not exactly..I'm moving in with my parents but this is a temporary step.  I need to get my house rented out and save a bit of money to cover housing expenses that might arise of my future renter.  I got a wonderful job (a promotion even) I'm actually a bit amazed they hired me.  The facility and location are great and even more importantly everyone I met was super nice.  

The whole thing is a bit jarring I have so much to do in such a short period of time. 

Time for bed.

Week 12

Another fun week.  Not really.  I've been busy, I've been over tired and I haven't been the gym in 7 days.  Somehow through my diet of McDonalds and prepackaged food I lost 5.1lbs this week. 

So definitely not bad news.  I'm going to try and get a decent nights sleep and hopefully make it back to the gm tomorrow.  Also there are some potentially exciting things on the horizon. Vague I know but yeah thats all I'm saying right now.

Peachy Keen

I had a wonderful day.  I skipped the gym but hey I stayed within my points so no biggie.  This is not my point.

So I was at the dry cleaners the other day where I was greeted by the most wonderful lady.  She was kind she was funny she carefully attended to all my ocd-esc requests.  I even called Alice to tell her about my pleasant interaction while doing my saturday chores.  

Flash forward to Wednesday I went to pick up my clothes and the same lady smiling said hi and said oh you must be here to pick up the suit.  Not only did she remember me and my order but she remembered out conversation and drowned me in genuine flattery!  Had she not been a middle aged woman I may have proposed marriage.

So often I threaten to write strongly worded letters to people who have pissed me off, of course i never get far enough to actually use a stamp.  Today in the spirit of turning over a new leaf I hand wrote a nice letter to the owner/manager of my dry cleaner describing my positive experience and singing "Sue's" praises.  I dropped it in the mail today.

Pleased with myself (and having leftover points for my day) I went to McDonalds to get an ice cream cone.  A few weeks ago Alice and I stopped to get a cone after dinner.  The young kid leaned out the window with the vanilla cone smiling and in a chipper voice said, "Who want's Ice cream!?!"  It was adorable and honestly made my rotten day turn good.  Upon Alice's urging I called the McDonald's and talked to the manager telling them about the chipper young lad that made my day.

Anywho today high on my spreading of joy I visited the same McDonalds to order my 3 point vanilla cone.  At the window a middle aged man half leans out and mutters, "Who wants ice cream...?"  Sure he didn't say it with the vigor it needed but it still made me feel good.  That kid got his compliment and thats what matters.

Annabelle Tinley signing out.... changing the world one compliment at a time.

If you would like a wonderful dry cleaning experience visit Sue...

Dison's Cleaners

20th St. SE

Rochester, MN 55904

Week 11

It's Monday weigh in day. Today is a particularly exciting because I officially reached my 10% goal. I never really cared or knew anything about the 10% goal until I weight to weight watchers the first time. I was never able to make it to that damn 10% in my three bouts as a member. Well suck it weight watchers I did it on my own.

Well don't suck it. I like weight watchers. I like their little three month journal I like having my points target to stick within. It gets me in the habit of this is what appropriate eating looks like and so far it has gone well.

In other news Alice and I have finally settled on our 5k date October 3rd. I'm going to take it a little easy this week on the jogging since my knee has been bothering me so I might just do 15 minutes of running and then cycle for 30minutes or so. I really should sign up for a personal training thing since I have absolutely no clue of how to exercise, but then again there is still so much time for that. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the glory time before the first sucky platue.


27.7 lbs lost! Rock on!

Wellness Evaluation

Today was my big wellness evaluation. Sure I should have done this when I started nearly 3 mos ago but I knew it involved spandex and running on a treadmill with a gas mask type contraption affixed to your face so I took my time in making the appointment.

Honestly it wasn't as bad as I expected even considering my evaluator was young tall and dark & breathtakingly handsome. Perhaps next time I will request a old lady so my resting heart rate isn't affected by lust.

So after an hour of embarrassing tests I got my less than lack luster results. But I'm not going to let it bother me. Its a start and something to improve upon.

Today
Weight: 246.1 lbs
Fat: 51.3%
VO2: 19.6
Resting HR: 103

And for the Goals
Weight: 165
Fat: <30%
VO2: >30
Resting HR: <75

Who is Cobie?

I met Cobie in the parking lot of my high school two weeks before the start of junior year. We were lining up for practice at band camp. That's right I said band camp...wanna make something of it. He was different that all my other friends who were primarily the straight A student council types. It's not that Cobie and I aren't smart. We are we just aren't "traditionally acedemically gifted."

Sometimes because I'm all too self reflective I wonder how things in my life my have been different if he had never come into my life. Before him I was completely and discustingly sheltered. I didn't know gay people, I didn't know the joys of smoking and I would never consider crossing from the suburbs into the dangerous city of Chicago where my parents would have me belive I would be shot on sight. In many late night walks through boys town and surrounding neighborhoods I came to see how my life might be different than the life my parents planned for me. I saw the worlds as bigger and different. I now can see all the possibilies for my future and that I can do anything I dream up, and I learned that from him.

He's different from any person I've met before or met since. He's completely unapoligetic about the way he lives his life. He does what he wants to do and is utterly authentic. He is there to listen whenever I'm going through whatever it is I'm going through and will ocassionally kick my ass out of self loathing mode when it needs to be done. He is always thinking of the future, his next degree, his next work venture. I'm a bit convinced that somehow he will take over the world and become extreemly wealthy. I'm hoping to stay on his good side so he will take me on all expenses paid vacations with him.

Since moving to the less than exciting tundra of minnesota 10 years I don't get to see him as much as I want but with every mini-vay that we meet things pick up right where they left off.

The contrast of Annabelle and Cobie

• He likes cats
• He likes camping
• He does lots of computer stuff and sometimes he talks about it and my eyes glaze over in ineptitude
• He listens to some really wierd music...even for me
• Sometimes I worry he will become a hippy and run away to join a comune...but then I remember that he wouldnt be able to live without his powerbook, ikea furiture and over priced Irish butter.
  

Who is Alice?

I met Alice my freshman year of college. It was most likely about 3am mid week (although such details can not be substantiated) all I know is no one else was awake. In the hallway of the dorms we started chatting, well more accurately mocking. Some people thrive on dorm life. We are not those people. There are little construction paper decorations with glitter in the hallways that change as the seasons pass. Then there are the endless pictures of people on the walls participating in water balloon tosses and three legged races. Its bit like kindergarten but with liquor.

So there we were twin insomniacs trapped in a floor full of estrogen mocking the latest pictures from the last "mixer." The theme from friends should have been playing in the background. We've been relatively inseparable ever since.

We worked together at both Dominos and Subway in college where no one we worked with could ever tell us apart. I understand we are both relatively tall and rubinesce but really...at the time she had short oddly colored spiky hair and mine was long and blonde it is still a mystery where the confusion lied. Those that could tell us apart often thought we were sisters.

As time has passed we have changed from same person, to sisters and now an assumed lesbian couple. A few short weekends ago we were attending a party where a former Winona allum was (as I was convinced) trying to get us to finance a building. Then after torturing us with his optomistic attitude for over an hour with a completly straight face he says, "So how long have you two been a couple?"

There was no...are you gay? Are you together? It just must have seemed like fact that we are obviously an old married couple. I can't completely fault him on his assumption because after further evaluation Alice has been and will likely be my future "date" for every new years, valentines day and anything adressed as Annabelle and guest.

Since our friendship has now graduated to married couple Alice has been pushing for a domestic partnership so she can have better health insurance and a membership at my kick ass gym. I was able to talk her down to an all expenses paid trip to my 10yr high school reunion instead. She admitted got a raw deal.

Since talking about the similarites between Alice and I would be long and tiresome I will highlight our differences instead.

• She likes onions
• She has a serious aversion to dog hair...and an even bigger aversion to dog drool
• She unscrews the cap of her toothpaste even if it has a flip top
• She does not use air conditioning

Yup that pretty much sums it up.

Who is Annabelle?

Despite the dissatisfaction of bff Alice we have a new alias. I present to you Annabelle Tinley. I don't know how I came up with the name it just seemed happy and fitting. Annabelle is a work in progress shes more the girl I want to be. I suppose at my ripe old age of 28 shes the "woman" I want to be but Annabelle doesn't really seem like a woman's name now does it? This blog will chronicle the journey of becoming Annabelle.

Annabelle lives in a shitty one bedroom apartment on the northside of Chicago while she continues to pay on her mortgage of sprawling 4-bedroom suburban/city home in Rochester, MN that was acquired during what she refers to as the "dark years" of her life. Said home is currently rented out to people whom continue to decline the value of her property but pay the rent on time so she doesn't really care that much.

Annabelle works in laboratory medicine where she is some bigwig and all of her staff and bosses worship her for her honesty, intelligence and calm demeanor. However her life is only centered on work for 50 hours per week.

Annabelle likes to spend her evenings cooking with her bff Alice and watching horrible pre-teen drama particularly Degrassi marathons. Together they have conquered making Tofu look appetizing and have tried every single vegetable Whole Food has to offer. After dining of healthful meals Annabelle and Alice enjoy a nice jog or bike ride on the lake shore or if the weather is unfavorable they take in a spinning class or meditative yoga class much to Alice's disdain.

Friday happy hours land Annebelle in Wrigleville to visit her longest bud ever Cobie for drinks, hotdogs the occasionally stolen Camel Light. She enjoys a large and diverse set of friends which Cobie lovingly prescreened for her, and she often treats them to dinner parties and long theological plans on how to save the world through Immunological drugs. Alice & Cobie refuse to attend such parties unless they are drunk, as under being the influence makes us far more entertaining.

She has a slight shopping addiction. She frequents H&M and owns about 3 dozen adorable summer dresses from Mod Cloth. She also spent an entire 3-week European vacation searching for the perfect bowl to place on her table...where she then spent hundreds of dollars getting an electrician to install a spot light on said perfect bowl.

Annabelle occasionally takes metra trips to visit her loving parents and grandmother in the (audible gasp) suburbs. They continually remind her that she isn't getting any younger and should settle down and start ensuring the continuation of the family line. She is however to busy and joyous to be bothered with the continuation of the Tinleys.

Annabelle is a do-good-er. She has contributed 20$ to nearly every charity in the Chicago-land area by participating in 5K races. She brings her own shopping bags to Whole Foods and does not own a car. She also schleps her recycling products since her shitty apartment does not have recycle bins. She believes the idea of being vegan is charming but her love of leather shoes and bacon keep her from taking the leap. She came out to her family as a democrat and was only semi-disowned for one holiday season where she received an autographed copy of Rush Limbaugh's latest book for Christmas.

So yeah that's the plan of where I'm going and who I want to be. Lets see how close I get.

This blog is a continuation of the writings of Ava Mazur. Her musings can be read on http://perpetuallysingle.blogspot.com/.