The last day

I'm happy.

I'm sitting on my deck, back against the window with a vodka glass filled with ice wine and a camel light spilling ash onto my macbook. Although it may be not the things movies are made of somehow its perfect.

Today is the last day in my house. The house that I though I would come back from my honeymoon to. The house that was supposed to hold my first sleepless child. The house that instead held none of those things. All the disappointment and all the heart ache are over.

Karma is finally paying out. With an amazing career in an amazing city. I'm starting anew. Maybe I don't have the perfect city apartment or European bowl adorning my dinning nook table but somehow thats just really ok.

I don't know whats going to happen in the future...sure as shit things haven't happened to plan so far. I know I'm up for an adventure and that is well...just fine with me.

Cobie I'm coming home!

See Ya....Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya'

I'm not good at goodbyes. I don't mean that in the way where I cry and blubber and have some earth shaking moment that cause me to reflect upon experiences too strong to put into words as I walk through the exit door.

Nope for me I run through the mental thought. I will most likely never again see this person in my life. I momentarily think this is kinda sad then I realize I don't really care. Then I have to feign being emotionally moved by a separation to a practical stranger. Its awkward, its forced and I will have to do it about 60 times tomorrow.

Suck.

The 10yr Reunion

All in all I'm glad I went to tool city a.k.a "The Alumni Club" for my HS reunion. The first hour was rather excruciating but the open bar and a keenness too Vodka-Cranberries aided in my ability to get over my flashback of super-shy-uber-nerd. Sure I spent the vast majority of the night hanging with my regular clan but I found a couple new-old friends that will surely come in handy whenever I get my little slice of the Chicago pie.

Today I went and did my pre-employment screening. All things are go except for my mysteriously MIA transcripts I ordered two weeks ago. Two schools will be receiving angry phone calls tomorrow. Unfortunately today was also picture day. Had I known this I would have done my hair and perhaps put more care into operation zit-coverage.

All in all it was a wonderful weekend. I actually got the chance to relax a little and enjoy the city. Kinda got the warm fuzzies as I thought...yes this is actually happening. This is what I want to do with my life, and I'm doing it. I've taking my years of wishing, dreaming, preparing and finally here it is. The whole thing is rather euphoric.

Now I just have to ditch this house. I've always been so attached to the place I live and leaving has always been bittersweet for me but quite frankly when I look back on my time in Rochester all I can recall is a really bad life stage. A broken engagement, a horrible depression, a pathetic lack of friends within my zip code. Its not like the years were all bad but all the happy memories I remember were in lacrosse, Appleton, Chicago or even Lincoln freakin Nebraska.

I feel like I've been trapped here for so long, and no matter financially what I loose I can recover. Whatever it is its work my sanity in the end. 12 days until the move!

Should be Sleeping

Moving countdown:  16 days!

My parents and Alice came up last weekend and we got lots of stuff done.  Pretty much everything is packed priced or thrown away.  With the exception of my clothes, a few dishes and toiletries.  I'm taking this weekend off to visit Chicago for my 10yr highschool reunion and my physical & pre-employment pee in a cup test.  I plan on passing with flying colors since I am boring and shockingly heathy for a fat girl.

The reunion might prove to be a bit more difficult.  I didn't really consider I would have to wear something and it seems like the type of event one should have a planned outfit for.  I'm thinking a big ratty turtlneck sweater and paint stained sweatpants.  Might go with story of the bff date and moving back in with my parents.  Also in today reunion panic I realized that I don't really remember many people from highschool.  I imagine it going like this...

Stranger:  Ann how are you?

Me:  Spoken in a painfully enthusiastic obviously overcompensating manner  How are you?!?!  Its been so long!  What are you up to?  (thinking I have no idea who this person is)

Stranger:  Oh you know...I'm the CEO of xyz this is my supermodel wife, here look at this picture of our twins they are staring in the next pampers commercial.

Me:  Oh they are so adorable.  (I hate kid pictures, I never know what to say...they are babies they all look the same to me and all I want to say is yeah I would have kids but I'm not willing to give up sleep for a tax deduction).

Stranger:  So what are you up to?

Me:  Well I work in MN, but I just got a new job in Chicago so I'm going to be relocating in a couple weeks.

Stranger:  (Insert any quote from Fargo here)

Me:  Fake Laugh

Stranger:  So have you found a place?

Me:  Ummm, no I can't afford to sell my house so I'm going to move in with my parents.

Stranger:  Oh  (Awkward pause, looks down, embarrassed for both of us)  So humm....Did you come with anyone?

Me:  Yeah my friend Alice came with me, I always drag her along anytime I need a date.

Stranger:  Oh I didn't know you were a lesbian.  Kinda explains why you were so quiet & weird in highschool.

Me:  Yeah no, shes just a friend.  I'm just so socially awkward that I only have the one.  Anyways nice catching up but if I have to continue this conversation or have a painfully similar one with anyone else tonight I better hit the bar so I don't end up slitting my wrists in the bathroom.  Good seeing you though!

Operation A little less fat update:

Moving is horrible for ones diet and exercise regimen.  In two weeks I've managed to gain back 3 lbs and quite frankly I'm surprised its not more since I've been feasting on every local specialty known to man.  Not to mention I'm trying to eat everything in my house (most of it is not good for me).  My lips have been descending on more fried foods than veggies lately.  But whatever.