From Another World

Greetings my name is Benjamin, and my alien name is....Well to pronounce it you would have to have two tongues and four mouths.

I've become assimilated with American YOuth culture and find Pizza amazing. When I'm not harvesting brains and Butts for the mother ship, I tend to listen to slayer and eat Pizza, occasionally (more like every two days) I try something different and eat Burritos while listening to the Avett Brothers. I still haven't mastered eating upside down without spilling all over my carpet. I know what your thinking, and yes what do Aliens need carpet for? Its simple really, and the anwser is: It sure beats bare floors?

Do you eat Pizza and watch the movie 300?
Ben

***Actual picture and message from okcupid

Wow

First impressions....

Is he missing teeth?

No that's just a very big gap between his front two teeth....wait he smiled, no hes definitely missing some teeth...oh and the ones that are left aren't winning any beauty contests either.

Am I this vain....

yes I am.

He talks a lot. About "the war" about being a genius, about working for the CIA of insurance companies, about being on medication...

He does not say thank you when the waitress refills his glass.

Ewww he just said he had magic fingers

Did he really just excuse himself to smoke in the middle of a meal?

Why isn't work calling me? Why isn't Alice calling me? Why did I not plan an out when I knew I would need one?

Ill go with tired that's right, long day at work, little sleep.

No you can not come back to my place.

No I will not make out with you.

I'm sorry your train isn't for another 2 hours, maybe you shouldn't have Chicago listed as your location when you actually live in carol stream.

Oh god hes talking about the war again and how he was beaten and participated in undercover operations at 15 because he looked older and could speak 7 languages.

Uhuh so you have a lesbian life partner and you only sleep together rarely...

JESUS!

No I'm really tired and I thought we were just going for dinner. Sure you can text me.

(not to self program number as do not respond)

I've never been so happy to be home in all my life. This is why I don't online date.

Time to go back to women.

Fucking REALLY!?!??

The following is a live chat session from this afternoon...Names have been changed to protect me from being sued.


Live Chat
Connected Status: Analyst Unhelpful Comcast Representative is here and your issue status is: working
Problem: Installer is not here...

user Annabelle_ has entered room

Annabelle(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:43:33 GMT-0600 (CST))>

analyst Unhelpful Comcast Representative has entered room


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:43:40 GMT-0600 (CST))>

Hello Annabelle_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Unhelpful Comcast Representative. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:43:55 GMT-0600 (CST))>
ok


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:43:57 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I am now checking your information. How are you doing today?


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:44:03 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I'm okay.
my installer was supposed to be here between 10am-1pm and they are not here yet. I meant to call but my reception isnt the best so i thought i would try this first


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:44:42 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I hope that means that you're doing great today.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:45:54 GMT-0600 (CST))>
would you be able to check on the status?


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:45:57 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I see.


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:45:58 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I apologize for this if this has been an inconvenience. Let me go ahead and start assisting you on this.
I would like to have your Comcast account number so that I could start assisting you with your request.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:46:39 GMT-0600 (CST))>
umm I dont think I have an account number, they didnt give me anything when i set up the instal time


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:48:06 GMT-0600 (CST))>
That's fine. I have the account information with me now.


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:48:07 GMT-0600 (CST))>
XXXXX is your account number, actually .


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:48:22 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Thank you
I did check my phone and and I didnt have any missed calls or voice mails


Unhelpful Comcast Representative(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:50:01 GMT-0600 (CST))>
That's fine.


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:50:08 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I'm checking on your appointment now.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:50:12 GMT-0600 (CST))>
ok


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:50:22 GMT-0600 (CST))>
The technician should be there by 4pm, Annabelle.


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:50:27 GMT-0600 (CST))>
What time is it there?


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:50:32 GMT-0600 (CST))>
By 4pm?!


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:50:44 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Wasnt my appointment set up from 10-1?


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:51:20 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I'm sorry , 1pm, I mean.


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:51:25 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Sorry about that, that was pure typo.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:52:00 GMT-0600 (CST))>
well it is 1:51pm now so they obviously wont be here by 1pm. Is there a way to contact the installer to see where I am on the list?


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:53:50 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Okay, sure.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:53:56 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Thank you.


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:54:12 GMT-0600 (CST))>
I will have to give you the local Comcast service station in your area.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:54:29 GMT-0600 (CST))>
ok


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:57:49 GMT-0600 (CST))>
What apartment are you , Annabelle?


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 13:57:53 GMT-0600 (CST))>
XXX


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:58:52 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Thank you.


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:00:36 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Are you ready ?


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:00:38 GMT-0600 (CST))>
yes


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:01:37 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Chicago - North Ave.
Address: Hours:
1255 W North Ave
Chicago, IL 60642
Phone: 866-594-1234 Mon, Wed, Fri 9am-6pm, Tue, Thu 8am-5pm, Sat 9am-1pm. Open til 1pm on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. Closed on Christmas Day and New Year's Day.

Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:02:04 GMT-0600 (CST))>
okay that says its only open until 1pm on new years eve


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:02:07 GMT-0600 (CST))>
which is today


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:03:08 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Right, Annabelle.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:03:36 GMT-0600 (CST))>
well calling them isnt going to do me much good...


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:04:23 GMT-0600 (CST))>
so basically, they should have been here over an hour ago and there is absolutely no one to contact to see where they are or if they are even going to show up?


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:04:30 GMT-0600 (CST))>
You can have these other numbers to verify the status of the appointment :


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:04:31 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Illinois - IL
Chicago and the Greater Chicago Region: 866-372-4215
Kankakee, Joliet, Aurora (Chicago Market): 866-372-4215
Rockford (Central Illinois): 888-736-6608
Rock Falls (Central Illinois): 888-736-6610
Champaign/Urbana (Central Illinois): 888-736-6612
Peoria (Central Illinois): 888-736-6689
Normal/Bloomington (Central Illinois): 888-736-6694
Macomb (Central Illinois): 888-736-6695
Quincy (Central Illinois): 888-736-6698
Springfield (Central Illinois): 888-736-6705


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:06:39 GMT-0600 (CST))>
okay see here is the thing. I first called the local number where i set up the appointment, who told me to call the 1-800-comcast number was the only way to check on the status, The 1-800 comcast number told me to do live chat for faster service, now you are saying the only way to check is my local office...and now you are saying a non-local general chicago office can help me?


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:06:50 GMT-0600 (CST))>
This is really highly frustrating


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:07:44 GMT-0600 (CST))>
especially considering I have taken the day off work to get this done and have other things that I could be doing than waiting for the instaler to show up and call a bunch of different people all of which give me a new number to call.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:12:05 GMT-0600 (CST))>
So can this Chicago/Greater Chicago number be able help me? (the 866-372-4215) Because quite frankly my patience is tapped. Or should I give up and wait and call on saturday.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:14:51 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Hello?


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:15:08 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Yes, I am still here.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:15:12 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Well can it help me or not?


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:15:29 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Gwendoly, I'm sorry but that's the only information I could give to you .


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:16:02 GMT-0600 (CST))>
We can't adjust the store's hours of operation .


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:18:06 GMT-0600 (CST))>
What are the hours of opperation for the chicago and greater chicago number?


Unhelpful Comcast Representitive(Thu Dec 31 2009 15:19:04 GMT-0600 (CST))>
You can call the call center number for that, Annabelle.


Annabelle_(Thu Dec 31 2009 14:20:52 GMT-0600 (CST))>
Okay I can see I have exhausted the information available from you to share with me. Good day.

I hope its a promise

So on facebook I became a fan of not listening to nickleback.

kinda ex known as "trailer trash" sent this to me....

"why the hell would u join a hate group? Nickelback is probably better then alot of music you have in your ipod!!! Let me guess you hate slipknot, breaking benjamin, stone sour, and all the top rock bands out there right now as well

I should delete you from my friends list for joining a bunch of haters"

Ooooh I'm threatened.

I can't believe this is the last person I slept with.

Shame.