Letters I will never send

Dear Tree trunks,

It’s true I said I wouldn’t bother you but apparently I’m a bald-faced liar. I want to start out saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry I tuned into a drunken mess and accused you of everything under the sun. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right and I acted poorly.

Honestly I’m not sure we had long term potential but I was in a much different place than you I and was interested to see where things might go. The news in email quite frankly stung and I knew you being overly busy wasn’t actually case and you were just letting me down easy. I know you meant this as well intentioned but I guess I tend to get the drift more than most people give me credit for.

I know I have now damaged things irrevocably, however I suppose that was somewhat intentional. The fact of the matter is I cared about you and you hurt me. Sitting across from you and being friends isn’t what I want. I want to touch your hands, I want you to kiss me, I want you to hold me as the morning light streams through the blinds. Please for the love of god never talk to me again. As much as I want to hear where you life goes and all you may accomplish the knowledge that I will never be part of it is just a continual reminder of how I will never be what you want.

I realize that my desire to be with you has more to do with my loneliness than with you as a person. Which makes me just as dysfunctional, cruel and cold hearted as you.

-Annabelle

Smitten

What is my deal with inappropriate crushes? Upon sight I did one of those instant blushes and fell into obnoxious uncontrollable stupid smiling. Its bad. Said person is insanely smart, successful and they just have a good energy about them. (Pardon me for a moment while I go light some candles and burn some incense). It also probably doesn’t help the situation that she kinda looks like Amanda Palmer even though she doesn’t really. I’m hoping I get a hold of myself soon and I can fall into my normal pattern of jealousy apposed to googley admiration.

See Ya....Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya'

I'm not good at goodbyes. I don't mean that in the way where I cry and blubber and have some earth shaking moment that cause me to reflect upon experiences too strong to put into words as I walk through the exit door.

Nope for me I run through the mental thought. I will most likely never again see this person in my life. I momentarily think this is kinda sad then I realize I don't really care. Then I have to feign being emotionally moved by a separation to a practical stranger. Its awkward, its forced and I will have to do it about 60 times tomorrow.

Suck.