Different

“How do you know this is different?” A question posed by the teacher.

Its not the first time she asked and it’s not the first time I stumbled over the answer. I’m not so good with words when put on the spot.

I believe my floundering is most likely due to my emotional response to this question…doubt. I’ve been so wrong about so many people before how can I really trust myself to be right about you? Not exactly the comforting words you want to express to your partner.

Then after the question has past along with the anxiety-induced fit it causes I start to think more and trust more.

Why the teacher is different:

1. She is the first person I ever dated that I looked forward to introducing to my friends because I knew they would love her (they do).
2. From the moment I met her I always felt I could be myself and she has never asked me to be anyone but myself.
3. When I saw the way her students reacted to I realized she is one of those teachers that students will remember the name of 20 years from now.
4. She has a career, the ability to balance her checkbook, friends and an apartment that doesn’t look like a college dorm room.
5. She is honest with herself and with me.
6. When we disagree I always feel better after we talk. She listens to what I have to say and follows through on how to handle things in the future.
7. I respect who she is, the decisions she makes and her opinions.
8. She changes my perspective without changing me.
   
9. There are moments we are together doing normal things where I experience a wash of contentment, joy, calm, excitement and amazement. It’s an emotion I can’t describe but it is special and it makes me feel incredibly lucky.
10. None of these things require premeditation, work or even much consciousness. We just "fit."
    

Next time you ask I’ll be ready. You are special. I do know you’re different. We have a lifetime together and I have no intent on ruining it with my timetables and rushing. I have no idea what our future may bring or how we may get there but in my heart I feel it will be more wonderful than I could conjure up through my idle daydreams.