Bad 2nd date

I've been the friend.
I've been the nice one.
I've been the caring one.
I've been the understanding one.

Sometimes...just once...

I want to be the one that someone wants.

Lazy Sunday

Phone conversation from this evening…

Me: I didn’t even put on a bra today

Alice: I did but only because I’m still wearing it from yesterday. I’m not sure if that’s better or worse.

Me: I think it might be worse

Alice: I’m also wearing the same shirt but now its covered in stains.

Me: You just always have to one-up me don’t you?

Sick

I hate being sick.

I just went to walgreens and bought zicam, nyquil, dayquil, throat drops, a sinus flush and the expansion kit of saline solution, kelenix, vapor rub and chicken noodle soup.

I anwered a page and a phonecall from work incorherantly I think my boss said something to the effect of I should see a doctor because I was incohherant. I don't really know what she said I was incoherant at the time.

I'm wearing jeans right now and I walked the dogs. This is an amazing improvement from yesterday. I also ate some soup. I will now procedee to watch the dvr until 8pm where I plan to go to bed.

Disgruntled

I hate everything. It's a combination of PMS and three 12+ hour work days in a row with less than 4hrs of sleep in-between. I have reached exhaustion.

Exhaustion for me means:

• Uncontrolled eye rolling at ridiculous, annoying and unrelenting requests for things that are really quite unreasonable.
  
• Continual bumping into anything with a corner with any part of my body not coated in it's normal cushy layer of fat. I am convinced by morning bruises will develop on both my elbows, my left knee and my right temple.
• Inappropriate sentimental and emotional responses to non-heart string tugging written words. Resulting in the continual singing of "I'm Henry the Eighth," by Herman Hermits in my head to keep from crying on the bus. I really hate that song!
  
• Conflicting and persistent overwhelming feelings of hatred and love for anyone that matters.

The worst part? Nothing bad, abnormal or unusual happened today. Just a normal fine day I'm the only one making it bad, its really quite obnoxious. I am so maddened by my own negativity I would storm out on myself in disgust if I could manage it.

I'm refusing communication with the outside world and going to bed at 8.

Fin.

The Genesis of Friendship

My grandmother lives in a small ranch house on a large corner lot in suburbia. The yard is always balding and scattered with dandelions. There is a black spray painted eagle that hangs above the one car garage, buttercup yellow siding and a overgrown magnolia tree in the front that obscures the majority of the house.

This house has is really the only constant I've ever had in my life. Just before I was born my parents moved in with my grandmother. My grandfather died in June, I was born in July and the Magnolia tree was planted in August.

My parents both worked and my grandmother would care for me. When I was a year old we moved into our own home but I still went to Grandmother's house M-F for her to "watch me" until my freshman year of high school.

My grandmother took on the baby sitting duties of a little boy named Timmy who lived a few doors down. We potty trained together and I remember wanting to pee and stand too. I wanted to grow up to be a boy. Timmy and I went to preschool together and one Halloween when I was a butterfly and my wings couldn't fit through the bathroom door and I panicked; he helped squish my wings together so I could get inside. He was Tender heart bear that Halloween his mom made him a costume out of footie pajamas and sewed a little heart on the tummy.

I remember I got blisters all over my fingertips from playing the guitar and had to have my hands wrapped in comedic-ly large gauze mittens so they didn't get infected. We were playing and I wasn't able to pick up the little kitchen items in the play house; Timmy pretend-cooked the dinner for us since I couldnt.

He disappeared from my memory then. I went to Lutheran school for kindergarten and I suspect my grandmother stopped baby sitting him at that time. I wonder what happened to him; this Birth-4 year old brother of mine. I wonder where he went to school, if hes married, or if he grew up to be as sweet as he was in my memory.

During the boom Timmy's house was demolished; the little ranch house replaced with a sprawling brick mini-mansion towering over the lot, as has been the case with so many of the houses in that neighborhood. When I went back the last time I couldn't remember which was the lot that used to be Timmy's house. I sat in my parked car in the driveway looking over, expecting it to jump out at me, but it didn't. All I had was the recognition of a lost history; and wondering what else I may have forgotten.

About to burst

It's been a good week. I got my annual review and got the highest possible rating (which on average only 7% of employees get). Higher raise for me. Woot Woot!

I hired three people.

I paid all my bills.

I watered my plants.

I packed my bags.

Spain, Morocco and Portugal here I come!

Suck it

Dear Mother Nature,

You really must get your sister Flo under control. She was supposed to visit two weeks ago and never showed up. No note or anything but you know me I let it go I know she is a little flaky. However what I will not tolerate is her showing up today. She was even more surly than usual. I kindly asked her to leave (you see I have vacation planned starting tomorrow). But did she? NO! She just stood there kicking me in the abdomen and throwing onions at my eyes.

Look I understand you only have so much control over her but really if she misses her time with me I must insist she skip the visit entirely.

Respectful yours,
Annabelle