Friends

A conversation with Alice...

Me: I just got of the phone with "Shane." We were talking for 3hours while she was dissembling her bed...so we weren't really talking but talking like we talk....

Alice: Yeah you two have a wierd Ross and Rachel thing going...

Me: No I don't want to date her. I mean she nice and cute but she's...well she a little arrogant.

Alice: You know who you are? Yooourrr Rosssss....

Me: Dammit I am Ross.

2011 To Do List

So to get over my latest woe-is-me funk I’ve decided to make some goals I like goals

1. Go to a David Sedaris style nudist camp….or topless at women’s fest which would count.
2. Acquire one new friend at the level where we can sit on the couch and watch TV for our nights entertainment
3. Go on 10 dates
4. Poach an egg
5. Take the GRE
6. Move to an apartment with a bit of outdoor space
7. Frame that Poster and Spain Painting
8. Go to the dentist
9. Go to the doctor
10. Go on a long weekend to Washington DC or New York.
11. Weigh 199lbs (less would be good too)
    

Bad 2nd date

I've been the friend.
I've been the nice one.
I've been the caring one.
I've been the understanding one.

Sometimes...just once...

I want to be the one that someone wants.

Lazy Sunday

Phone conversation from this evening…

Me: I didn’t even put on a bra today

Alice: I did but only because I’m still wearing it from yesterday. I’m not sure if that’s better or worse.

Me: I think it might be worse

Alice: I’m also wearing the same shirt but now its covered in stains.

Me: You just always have to one-up me don’t you?

Sick

I hate being sick.

I just went to walgreens and bought zicam, nyquil, dayquil, throat drops, a sinus flush and the expansion kit of saline solution, kelenix, vapor rub and chicken noodle soup.

I anwered a page and a phonecall from work incorherantly I think my boss said something to the effect of I should see a doctor because I was incohherant. I don't really know what she said I was incoherant at the time.

I'm wearing jeans right now and I walked the dogs. This is an amazing improvement from yesterday. I also ate some soup. I will now procedee to watch the dvr until 8pm where I plan to go to bed.

Disgruntled

I hate everything. It's a combination of PMS and three 12+ hour work days in a row with less than 4hrs of sleep in-between. I have reached exhaustion.

Exhaustion for me means:

• Uncontrolled eye rolling at ridiculous, annoying and unrelenting requests for things that are really quite unreasonable.
  
• Continual bumping into anything with a corner with any part of my body not coated in it's normal cushy layer of fat. I am convinced by morning bruises will develop on both my elbows, my left knee and my right temple.
• Inappropriate sentimental and emotional responses to non-heart string tugging written words. Resulting in the continual singing of "I'm Henry the Eighth," by Herman Hermits in my head to keep from crying on the bus. I really hate that song!
  
• Conflicting and persistent overwhelming feelings of hatred and love for anyone that matters.

The worst part? Nothing bad, abnormal or unusual happened today. Just a normal fine day I'm the only one making it bad, its really quite obnoxious. I am so maddened by my own negativity I would storm out on myself in disgust if I could manage it.

I'm refusing communication with the outside world and going to bed at 8.

Fin.